What a video call actually settles
A short video call answers the questions that messaging never quite can: this person is real, they match their photos, and the conversational spark you felt in writing survives in real time. That's a lot of certainty for ten relaxed minutes.
It also works as a gentle filter. Most people who misrepresent themselves — about their appearance, their identity, or their intentions — will avoid video indefinitely. A pattern of broken cameras, bad connections, and last-minute cancellations, week after week, tells you something useful before you've spent an evening finding it out in person.
How to suggest it without making it weird
Keep it light and mutual: 'Want to do a quick video call before we plan something? It'd be nice to put a voice to the messages.' Framed as enthusiasm rather than vetting, almost everyone takes it well — and the people who take it badly have told you something too.
Keep the call itself short and low-stakes. Fifteen minutes is plenty for a first call; ending while it's still fun leaves both of you looking forward to the real thing.
A few practical touches
Treat a first video call a bit like a first date: a neutral background that doesn't reveal your address, decent light, and a time when you won't be interrupted. There's no need to share anything on camera you wouldn't share in a café.
If the call goes well, you'll walk into the first date already past the awkward is-this-really-them moment, with an in-joke or two banked. If it doesn't, you've spent ten minutes instead of an evening — and either way, you've made a wiser plan.